Tag Archives: healthy communication

Giving Constructive Feedback to Children

Giving Constructive Feedback to Children. Episode #10 - Raising Kids Who Can Cope

Episode #10 in the “Raising Kids Who Can Cope” Series

Click arrow to listen to the 90-second podcast.

We all want to raise kids who are emotionally and socially intelligent and are able to recover from disappointment to grow stronger every day into adulthood

All children have their own personal strengths but too often we overlook them and focus on faults and weaknesses. That is when criticism creeps in. Using criticism as constructive feedback can help a child develop confidence in their abilities and decisions.

Two points to remember when providing feedback are: one, feedback like praise, must be specific. Name the action or behavior. For example, “You left a mess on the counter. Please help out by cleaning it up.”

And two, avoid making personal statements about your child such as “You are so messy or You are clumsy.” Avoid labels and shame that can put a child in the position of having to defend themselves or retreating into anger and resentment.

If a child is stuck on completing a task or correcting a mistake, build on their strengths, point out what they have accomplished in the past and help them identify ways to solve the current problem. Constructive feedback provides guidance, understanding, and opens up opportunities for discussions between parent and child.

Raising Kids Who Can Cope is a 28-part series developed to build skills, knowledge and awareness in adults who play a role in young people’s lives. It is brought to you by Jackson County UW-Extension and Together for Jackson County Kids. Find out more at Raising Kids Who Can Cope.

References

Ginsburg, K. R. (2011). Building Resiliency in Children and Teens. Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics

Effective Communication: A Life Long Skill

Effective Communication: A Life Long Skill. Issue #2 - Raising Kids Who Can Cope

Episode #2 in the “Raising Kids Who Can Cope” Series

Click arrow to listen to the 90-second podcast.

We all want to raise kids who are emotionally and socially intelligent and are able to recover from disappointment to grow stronger every day into adulthood

Listening to what a child says and not just hearing her or him is a start to helping them work through an issue. Showing we are listening leads to more effective communication and better understanding for everyone.

We can show that we are listening through a few easy steps. facing towards a person that is talking, nodding our head as they talk, and having open posture not arms crossed in front of our body are nonverbal ways of showing that we are paying attention to a person while she or he is speaking. We can also show that we are listening by rephrasing back to the speaker what she or he has said and asking clarification questions. These techniques are called active listening.

When we want to get a point across or express how we’re feeling to someone else there are simple tricks for that as well. Use “I statements” such as “I want you to…” or “I feel happy or sad when…” instead of just saying “you, you, you” all the time.  When people, especially children, hear “you” all the time it can start to sound like blaming and they can tune out or start to feel less about themselves.  By using “I statements” we let them know how we feel about something and what we would like to happen without sounding like we’re accusing or blaming.

Raising Kids Who Can Cope is a 28-part series developed to build skills, knowledge and awareness in adults who play a role in young people’s lives. It is brought to you by Jackson County UW-Extension and Together for Jackson County Kids. Find out more at Raising Kids Who Can Cope.

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. (10/10/2014). Components of Good Communication. Healthychildren.org Retrieved from http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Components-of-Good-Communication.aspx

American Academy of Pediatrics. (10/10/2014). Components of Good Communication. Healthychildren.org Retrieved from http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Communication-Dos-and-Donts.aspx